This was written in the fall of 2016. It's about us. All of us.
Just a few hours ago, James and I walked down the street for a late lunch in Jersey City. We passed neighbors along the way, smiling and bundling up, watching lazy leaves swirl in the air and float to the chilly ground. We passed the private club on Coles Street with dueling American and Puerto Rican flags billowing in the wind. We nodded to the men standing outside having a smoke. An older man, walking with a cane, stopped in front of us, studied us and said, "It's getting cold." I smiled and agreed. He continued, pointedly looking at James, "I wonder if it's cold in Africa?" "Excuse me?" I said. He repeated, "I wonder if it's cold in Africa?" I filled in the "Where you belong," in my head, but it was there.
James continued to walk, barely acknowledging this man.This kind of harassment is nothing new to him. I needed a second to figure out if harassment was actually happening. It's harder to identify when it comes less frequently. That's the difference in our relationship. I can pass and safely walk through the world. My bigotry antennae was more attuned when I was in my 20's and regularly called faggot.
In my freeze state, I try to give a person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really wanted to know about the temperature in Africa. Honestly, I get a little stupid. I want to believe that people are innately good. I get this from my mom. It's a default I'm glad she gifted me, most of the time. My father on the other hand, roundly believed the world was full of assholes. And so, after I moved into anger mode, I did what any self respecting product of Yonkers would do, I flipped the guy the bird and said "Go fuck yourself." I don't know what I'm more angry at -- his comment or my response. I was raised to respect my elders, but have learned there's a reciprocity inherent in this deal.
This is where we are at folks. If you've read stories of increased hate crimes or offensive language being directed at people and didn't believe it, now you can say you know someone. Far worse things are happening all across the country. These are documented. It's not "some people are saying," fake reporting that Trump relied on to swindle half the voting population. If you dismiss or disbelieve these growing stories, you can count yourself as part of the problem and not the solution.
A Teflon Tin Man takes over the White House in 2017. His permissiveness has given rise to an uptick in hate filled activities. Let's hope he can find a heart in that blackened out hollow of a chest. I'm not holding my breath.
